Be Careful What You Wish For
by EJKorvette
Summary: Mordecai and Rigby watch TV, smoke some powerful weed, have an argument, and end up in Nicole Watterson's living room while she is home alone. She decides to show the two friends just exactly what a hot experienced older woman who knows how to please a man is capable of. Mordecai and Rigby learn something, and we see a different side of Nicole.


Regular Show x The Amazing World of Gumball Crossover

Be Careful What You Wish For

Disclaimer: I don't own Regular Show, TAWoG, or any of the other shows and characters mentioned in my story. I just have their characters do perverted, immoral, deviant, and usually illegal (in the other stories at least) things to each other in ways their creators (as far as we know) never intended.

Warning: Drugs are bad, m'okay. Kids, Don't Do Drugs. Or you will end up like Mordecai and Rigby, two unmotivated slacker stoner losers who can barely manage to perform their low-skilled jobs, and spend all their free time playing video games when they aren't attempting to work.

Also: This story will probably be a lot more graphic than what most of you are used to. If it is, just read a little faster during the graphic stuff.

Oh, and since most of this story was written on Father's Day, let me say Happy Father's Day! To Pops' Dad, to Richard Watterson, to Mr. Robinson, to my late Dad, and to any fathers who happen to be reading this!

Part 1

It was a usual Wednesday night. Moredecai and Rigby were over in Muscle Man's trailer watching TV with Muscle Man and High Five Ghost. They were watching Adult Swim and passing a bong around. It was about five minutes to eleven; an episode of American Dad! had just ended.

Mordecai took a long hit off the bong, held it in, then slowly let it out. "Great shit, Muscle Man!" he said finally. "Thanks for having us over. We can't smoke weed in the house anymore since Benson said he would fire us if he caught us again."

"Anything for my best buds!" he replied. "I got it from some strange guy in the park!"

"You sure meet a lot of strange guys in the park," Rigby said. "Let me see that remote; I want to see what's on now." He leant forward, picked it up, and pressed Guide. "Oh cool, Phineas and Ferb is on!" Rigby was about to change the channel when Mordecai reached forward and snatched it out of his hand.

"Dude, Phineas and Ferb is LAME," Mordecai said. "We're watching Family guy instead. Besides I don't want to listen to you, AGAIN, talk about how Stacy is so ugly you would only do her in the ass, and how you would go down on Candace and then floss the red pubes out of your teeth, and how you want to ride Jenny like a horse, and how you want to watch Isabella and Gretchen do each other. That gets old real fast, man."

"Yeah," added Muscle Man. "And Family Guy is funnier. And Lois Griffin is way hotter than anyone on Phineas and Ferb!"

"Yeah!" High Five Ghost agreed.

"He's right," Mordecai continued. "Lois Griffin has the curves and the attitude and the experience and the libido. And has that red hair!"

"Yeah, "Muscle Man repeated. "Why waste your time with stupid girls when you can have hot experienced older women that know how to please a man!"

Rigby looked pissed off, but he didn't want to admit it. "Yeah, like you would know what to do with a hot experienced old woman that knows how to please a man."

"And YOU would?" Muscle Man said. "I don't THINK so."

Muscle Man thought for a minute, then said, "You know who ELSE is a hot experienced older woman that knows how to please a man? MY MOM!"

The other three fell silent and just looked at him. Finally Mordecai said, "Dude. Really."

The light bulb went off over Muscle Man's head. "Uh, well . . ."

He looked at the TV. "Oh cool. The episode where Stewie and Brian go to all the different worlds is on. Even Meg is hot in this one."

Glad that the subject had changed from what Muscle Man's mom could do, Rigby said, "This is the best part, where they go to the Disney world. Look how hot Lois looks as a Disney character. Too bad going to different universes never happens. I would go there and so do her!" Rigby had the bong now and took a hit. "I wonder if we could smoke ourselves into another universe?"

"Dude, don't even talk like that. That happens at the park all the time! We almost always manage to open a portal to another dimension where bad shit happens," Muscle Man said. "Besides, the guy I got this weed off of said that we shouldn't smoke too much in one time. He said it had strange powers." Again the other three just looked at him. "I just thought he was high so I didn't really pay attention."

"Well to be on the safe side, maybe we shouldn't smoke anymore tonight," Rigby said. "I'm going to dump this bong water out." He got up, took the bong and headed for the sink.

The other three guys started yelling at him to stop, come back, and put the bong down. Right when he reached the sink Rigby turned around and sat back down. "Heh heh, just kidding. Like we're going to stop smoking before midnight!"

Mordecai reached over and punched Rigby in the shoulder. "Uncool, man," he said. "Don't mess with someone else's stuff."

"Oh?" Rigby responded. "Like the way you mess with my stuff?" Rigby thought for a moment, thinking of another putdown for Mordecai. "You can't even mess with Margaret! If I were into Eileen the way you are into Margaret, I would have ridden her like a horse, done her in the ass, and flossed her pubic hair out of my teeth by now. Have you even kissed Margaret yet?"

This really pissed Mordecai off. He stood up, got in Rigby's face and said, "I've done more with Margaret than you will ever do with Eileen! And if we ever go to another dimension and meet a hot experienced older woman who knows how to please a man, I'll fuck her two ways to Sunday before your dick ever even gets stiff!" He made an effort to calm himself down. "Muscle Man, High Five, I think it's time for me to go. This guy can get abducted and ass-raped by aliens for all I care." Mordecai stood up and started for the door.

"Guys! GUYS!" Muscle Man said. "I'm sure both of you didn't mean it." He got out his rolling papers and his bag of weed and started rolling a joint. "Here, " he said, "take this and smoke it on the walk back to the house. The walk and the weed will calm both of you guys down."

Mordecai continued to glare at Rigby. Then he looked at Muscle Man and said, "I guess you are right. Rigby does stupid shit all the time; I shouldn't get so worked up."

"Yeah, Muscle Man, " Rigby said. "Mordecai can be a real tool sometimes; I shouldn't get so worked up."

"Okay now, you guys kiss and make up, " Muscle Man said.

"Yeah, we should both get going, "Mordecai said. "C'mon Rigby."

They both started out of the door. "Night Muscle-Man. Thanks for the bone! Night High Five!" they both said.

High Five Ghost waved his high hand good-bye as the two friends left.

Part 2

Mordecai and Rigby started walking towards the house. "That killed my buzz, " Mordecai said.

"Mine too", Rigby answered. "Fire that bad boy up!"

They stood next to a tree as Mordecai got out his lighter. He lit the joint, took a deep hit, passed it to Rigby, and then exhaled. "Wow . . ." Mordecai said. "This *is* really strong stuff!"

Rigby took his own hit, then exhaled. "Wow, "he said, "Maybe Muscle Man was right!"

"Heh heh", Mordecai said, "'a strange guy in the park.' Hope we don't run into him!"

They stood next to the tree, passing the joint back and forth. "Damn, Rigby said, "this is really burning my brain! We are going to still be stoned when we wake up tomorrow!"

"Dude, you're right", Mordecai agreed. "I so don't want to have to put up with Benson tomorrow."

"Yeah, "Rigby answered. "At this rate, even Pops and Skips will be getting on my nerves."

"Heh heh, "Mordecai said. "If Pops says "Good Show!" again I think I am going to lose it! Damn, I can barely walk. We should start getting back to the house."

"Yeah, "Rigby agreed. "One last hit for the road." He exhaled all the air from his lungs, slowly sucked on the joint until his lungs couldn't hold any more, held it in as long as he could, then slowly exhaled all the air again.

Mordecai did the same, then gently put the joint out, and put it into an empty Altoids box.

They started walking again. "Wow, " Rigby said. "I haven't been this high in ages. I don't think I have ever felt like this! I feel like I am in another world!"

Mordecai agreed. "Yeah! I can feel myself walking through the air." He waved his wings. "Hell, I can feel the air and the space around it!"

"Wow, "Rigby said. "Maybe Muscle Man was right. The air is glowing!"

"Holy Shit!" Mordecai said. "EVERYTHING is glowing! Muscle Man was RIGHT!"

Just then everything got so bright they had to shut their eyes. They heard a crack and felt intense heat, as if lightning hit right next to where they were standing.

Slowly the light faded and they could open their eyes. Eventually the brightness left their eyes and they could actually see where they were.

They were inside a small house. There was a worn sofa that looked like it had been there for the past thirty years. There was a deep set of butt-prints worn into one side of the couch. There was a well-used table with well-used chairs in the dining room.

"Dude!" Mordecai whispered. "We're in someone's house!"

"Yeah!" Rigby whispered back. "Looks as clean as our room!"

There was a family portrait on the wall. They went up and looked at it. There was a big pink rabbit Dad, a blue cat Mom, a blue cat boy, an orange fish boy, and a little pink rabbit girl.

"What a strange family!" Mordecai said.

"Yeah, " Rigby agreed. "I bet the goldfish was adopted. The Mom looks hot though!"

"Yeah, Mordecai agreed, "She does look hot for an older woman."

They heard a noise upstairs. "Quick, get behind the couch!" Mordecai said.

They ducked behind the couch. There was more noise upstairs. Then they heard feet on the stairs. Then from behind the couch, they saw feet on the stairs.

Actually they were paws. The Mom cat was coming down the stairs!

From behind the couch they got a good look at her. She looked to be taller than Rigby but not quite as tall as Mordecai. She was wearing a white knit shirt with a collar and a short gray pleated skirt and no shoes on her paws. She was thin and willowy but very shapely. Her white shirt showed off her strong arms, her thin but visible waist, and the suggestion of a chest. Her short skirt showed off her blue fur and her perfectly-proportioned thighs as her long legs tapered gracefully to her small ankles and well-formed paws. Her face had the cutest little nose and big expressive eyes. She appeared to be in her early forties.

"Quick! " Mordecai whispered. "She'll see us! We have to run to the other room NOW!"

They started creeping into the kitchen through the open archway just as the Mom cat hit the bottom landing. Unfortunately one of the friends bumped into a cabinet and made a noise.

The Mom cat heard the noise and started looking around concerned. "Is she coming in here?" Rigby whispered.

"Shhh!" Mordecai whispered back.

The Mom cat must have heard that, because she opened the closet door and took out what sounded like a baseball bat. They heard her bang the bat against something and then she said, "If there is anyone in here, I've got a bat here and I know how to use it. My lifetime girls' softball batting average is .357 and I led the league in doubles and homers!"

When they heard her voice, Mordecai and Rigby knew two things. One, that the Mom cat was a forceful, strong woman who was used to being the one in charge (totally unlike the only two women they knew personally), and Two, that her voice was erotically hot in that mysterious unexplainable way that some women's voices just are.

"Dude, I think we should stop hiding," Rigby whispered.

"Yeah dude, I think we should too," Mordecai whispered back. Out loud he said, "Okay, Mrs. Whatever your name is, we're coming out!"

"Yeah, don't hit us with your bat", Rigby added. They looked at each other, nodded, and stood up and walked back into the living room.

They saw the Mom cat in the center of the room holding the bat up, ready to send one over the fence. When she saw a blue jay and a raccoon walk into her living room, her eyes widened and she said, "What the hell! Who the hell are you two? How did you get in here?" She wiggled the bat menacingly.

"Uh, okay. Let me explain, " Mordecai started to explain. "We were walking home from our friend's trailer in the park, and all of a sudden there was a crack of lightning and we were here!"

"Yeah, you know, " Rigby hastily added, "the park in the center of town. With the snack stand and the fountain . . ." he trailed off as her expression stayed the same.

"You guys sound like you are on drugs! You LOOK like you are on drugs! There's no park like that here in Elmore, " she said.

"Elmore?" the two friends said at the same time.

"You guys don't even know where you are? You both ARE on drugs", the Mom cat said.

"Well, we were, but this has totally killed our buzz, " Rigby said.

"Dude!" Mordecai said.

"Whatever, " she said. She walked over to the closet and put the bat back inside. "Well, I can see that you two are just a pair of stoner losers and certainly no threat to me." She made a fist with one hand and smacked it into the other. "And if you do get out of line, five minutes is ALL I need!"

Mordecai and Rigby looked at each other uneasily. Were they really a pair of stoner losers like this cat Mom said? And what did she mean by that last part?

"You sound just like my mom, " Rigby said.

"Well, I am a mom! I have three kids, and a husband who acts like a kid. So my Mom sense is pretty accurate."

"Yeah, " Mordecai agreed. "We saw the family portrait on the wall."

"And we're NOT stoner losers. We have jobs!" Rigby protested.

"Whatever, " the cat Mom said. "Let's sit down and you can tell me the whole story of how you two ended up here. Frankly I think your explanation of how two strange guys end up in my house is total crap, but I want to give you enough rope to hang yourselves with."

The two friends just blankly stared at her; they had no idea what she was talking about.

"I want to hear your whole story! My Mother sense should be pegging the meter – " Again they blankly stared at her. "Never mind. Just start talking. Oh, my name is Nicole. What are your names?"

The blue jay spoke first. "I'm Mordecai, and this is my friend Rigby. Nice to meet you, uh, Nicole." He shook her hand, then Rigby shook her hand.

"Uh, hi, uh, Nicole, " Rigby managed to say.

"Is something wrong, guys?" Nicole asked.

"Uh, no . . . " Mordecai said. "We just aren't used to calling people our moms' age by their first names."

"Oh, I can't possibly be as old as your moms! " Nicole noticed the younger guys react as if they had said the worst possible thing, felt sorry for them, and added, "Unless you guys are much younger than you look!"

"We're both twenty-three . . ." Rigby said warily, not sure how Nicole was going to react to that.

"Oh, I see . . . " she said. Maybe she really was old enough to be their moms. "Anyway let's sit down on the sofa and you two can tell me your story. I'll sit in the middle so you can't discuss it before you tell me".

They sat down, Mordecai on her right, Rigby on her left. The blue cat turned to the blue jay and said, "Why don't you start. You said your name was Mordecai?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Mordecai! " She turned to her left. "And Rigby, was it?" Nicole smiled, which put both of them at ease instantly. The two guys also noticed how it made her look even more attractive. "You don't have to be so formal! Just call me Nicole!"

"Yes, ma – I mean, Nicole" the two said in unison.

Mordecai continued. "Well we were at our friend's trailer (he also works with us), and we were watching TV. We also were smoking weed. Rigby and I got into an argument. We both got really upset, and didn't feel like watching TV anymore, and we wanted to go back to the house where we have a room together. To calm us down, Muscle Man gave us a joint to smoke on the way home."

"Your friend is called Muscle Man? " Nicole asked.

Rigby answered, "His real name is Mitch, but only his girlfriend calls him that." Rigby continued. "Yeah, we started smoking it before we started walking back."

A thought occurred to Mordecai and he said, "I remember the time we started walking home! It was halfway through the first episode of Family Guy that Adult Swim shows on a weeknight, so it was about a quarter after eleven! So it should be about midnight now?" He looked at Nicole. "On a Wednesday night?"

While Nicole's head was turned as she looked at Mordecai, Rigby could not help noticing the way Nicole's thighs looked with the pleated gray skirt barely covering them, nor the attractive way her waist suddenly narrowed then flared out into smoothly rounded hips, nor the way those hips became calves and then ankles and paws.

"Uh, it's about seven thirty on a Monday evening." Nicole's doubts about these guys were coming back.

'Go on . . ."

Rigby picked up the story. "Yeah, we were walking home, and we were feeling stranger and stranger from the weed (Muscle Man said that the strange guy in the park told him it had special powers), and felt so strange that it got hot and bright like lightning hit us, and when we could finally see again, we were in your living room."

"Then we ran into the kitchen when you came down the stairs. When we heard you bang your bat and tell us your stats, we realized we had to stop hiding."

Nicole furrowed her brow in thought for a moment then said, "Okay, sounds like from what you boys are telling me, you were smoking some special powers pot your friend got from a strange guy in the park, you two leave to have a joint of this stuff on your way to your house, lightning strikes, and boom, here you are! On the wrong day and the wrong time!"

"Are you even listening to what you are saying?" Nicole said.

"Well, it does sound kind of strange, " Mordecai said. "But where we live, that kind of stuff happens all the time. Big holes are always opening up in the ground, things come out of the walls, Death shows up (we even babysat his kid one time!), zombies come out of the earth!"

"Even when we go out on dates, or to a concert, or a wrestling match, weird stuff just happens, " Rigby explained. "Does that kind of stuff ever happen here, in, Elmore was it?"

"Nothing comes out of holes in the ground or out of the walls here, " Nicole answered. "No zombies or supernatural forces. Of course my three little darlings get into so much trouble that it seems like supernatural forces are at work."

While Nicole was talking to Rigby, it was Mordecai's turn to check her out. There was something about the way she was sitting there with her legs demurely crossed and the way the little skirt was draped over her gently curving hips, the way that her knit shirt set off the small curve of her waist. Mordecai couldn't even think of why he thought her paws were cute, but that's what they were, down there at the end of her supple legs. Nicole turned to look at him and he said, "We saw the family picture. They look like a handful! Shouldn't they be home now?" Mordecai thought of something and added, "and your husband too? That is who the rabbit was in the picture?"

"Yes, that's my Richard! I had a hard day at work today, so I dropped them off so they could go out to eat and then do some shopping, " Nicole said. She remembered something and said, "Knowing them, I will probably get a call about ten or eleven to bail them out of jail or have to find them in the mall. Something like that happened the last time." Nicole laughed. "So I only have about three hours of peace and quiet to myself until my Mom sense goes off! That is, until I came downstairs and saw you two!"

Rigby said, "Well we thought we would just walk home, not emerge from an interdimensional rift into someone else's living room. Do your kids do stuff like that?"

"No, they get into enough trouble right here in this dimension in Elmore", Nicole answered. My boys made a slime monster, my oldest boy wore my wedding dress to school, he tried out for the cheerleading team, my youngest almost got taken away because she is a genius, our whole family is always in the principal's or the counselor's office . . ."

"So strange stuff goes on here also!" interrupted Rigby.

"I suppose it does, " Nicole admitted. "But still, not like what you say happened to you. Why don't you start over and tell me everything that led up to you getting zapped here by magic."

"Okay." Mordecai explained. "Like we said, we were at Muscle Man's watching Adult Swim, the episode of Family Guy where Stewie and Brian go to different universes. Yes, we were smoking weed. Rigby and I got into an argument, got very upset, and then we didn't feel like being there. Muscle Man gave us a joint of his special stuff to smoke on the way home. We smoked it, then BOOM! And we ended up here."

"Adult Swim?" Nicole asked. "And what was the argument about that upset you guys so much?"

"Oh, that's cartoons at night for adults, " Rigby explained. "And we were arguing over who would be better at having sex with a hot experienced older woman who knows how to please a man."

The blue jay and the raccoon looked at the blue Mom cat, realized what they had said, and they both blushed a deep shade of red.

Nicole looked at them turning red from embarrassment, but it took a second for her to understand why. "Oh!" She didn't know whether to get upset or to be flattered at this. She decided to be flattered. "Oh, well, okay . . ." she said after a moment.

She composed herself. "I have to admit I am sitting here waiting for my Mother sense to tingle while we are having this little discussion. I also have to say I don't feel it." She turned her head to look at both of them, then she continued. "Believe me, I can tell when a story doesn't add up; with my kids it's a survival technique." She thought a moment, then continued. "So I have to say that I believe you."

Her tone changed. "Of course I don't use drugs anymore, but I remember my days before I got married and had a family and I had to be 'Responsible'." Nicole looked at Rigby a while, then at Mordecai. She smiled to herself like she had made an internal decision, then looked at Rigby again. "You said your friend told you the pot you were smoking was special?"

"Uh, yes. He said he got it from a strange guy in the park." Rigby thought a second. "We get a lot of strange guys in that park."

Nicole continued. "Well, I think he was right. What happened is that you all were smoking this stuff, you two had a heated argument with strong feelings, then you smoked even more of that stuff, and your emotions and the show you were watching caused it to send you right to a hot experienced older woman who knows how to please a man in another universe!"

Again the two friends started turning red. "Guys. Guys!" Nicole patted each of them on the thigh with either paw, then smiled again. "Don't get embarrassed. My Mom sense knows you are telling the truth, but my Woman sense knows that you have been checking me out ever since we sat down on the couch."

Rigby asked, "Uh, you do? Know we have been stealing looks at you?"

Nicole smiled again. "A woman always knows when men are checking them out! And she knows when the men like what they see!"

She looked at them. "Don't be so surprised! You must know some women well enough to know this?" She looked at them again. "You do know some women, don't you?"

"I know this cardinal who I like, and I think she finally likes me", Mordecai said.

"Her friend the mole, I think she likes me. A lot! But I don't like her that much . . ." Rigby answered.

"See?" Nicole said. "Even you guys can tell, somewhat, what another woman is thinking." She stood up from the couch, turned to face them, and took a paw and a wing in either paw and smiled coyly. "I think you guys were sent here for a reason, so we are going to take advantage of this opportunity. We're going to go upstairs now. You guys are going to get an education, and I am going to have some fun like I haven't had in years, since the summer of '83!" With that she turned and went up the stairs, with them following behind her. They were looking at her butt cheeks moving back and forth under the short skirt as she climbed the stairs with both anticipation and trepidation.

End Chapter 1

Sorry to leave you all hanging, but I just wanted to get all the exposition out of the way. Now I can just concentrate on the fun part of the story.


End file.
